If you think your relationship is on a solid footing – it’s all happening
well and as planned – listen. This may be your last warning.
Surprised by the suggestion that there is something to be afraid of between you and your partner?
If so, you’re in the company of a large group of complacent people who have decided – after a few months, a year or even more – that the status quo has been established and, as far as you’re concerned, the two of you have become sunset figures, destined to live happily ever after .
More than likely, there have been many signals.
Yet, for some strange and inexplicable reason, you ignored the signs. By dismissing them as minor annoyances or anomalies, you have learned to rationalize your girlfriend’s awkward stretches of silence, distant behaviour and verbal cues as mere background noises that will eventually disappear.
I am not suggesting that you avoid the situation.
But instead, you really believe that your partner’s actions or words are nothing more than the result of a bad hair day or that the bank has messed up the current account again.
And while it may be one or both of these issues that triggered his or her behaviour change, it’s time to sit down and take note. After all, whether you know it or not, your relationship may have reached your partner’s “I’m no longer interested in you” phase. And she’s trying to find a good way to let you know that things have changed – and not in a good way.
In case you need a refresher course on recognising the near end
Here are some clues that may contain enough evidence to suggest that your girlfriend bought a ticket on the outbound train and will soon be saying goodbye – looking for a better, more fulfilling relationship:
1.Your girlfriend no longer answers “Hey, come here.”
Although this method of getting her attention may have worked for you in the past, she suddenly turned a deaf ear to your commands. In fact, she’s probably wondering if you still remember her name – or how to pronounce it.
2.She considered it necessary to constantly repeat herself
Whether it’s a request, a question, or a simple attempt to engage in conversation, your usual response is to ignore it, turn away or shrug your shoulders.
As a result, she has stopped offering you the courtesy of engaging with her on any level and instead has chosen to be more like you – non-reactive. Because she understands that you no longer recognize her as a priority in your life.
3.Her wardrobe seems less full and a little more organised
Spoiler alert: she slowly cleans things, makes boxes to put away at her mother’s house and slips ready-made suitcases under the bed.
You probably won’t realise this is happening until she walks to the door. But if you are worried, it may be a good idea to check under the bed frame from time to time.
And maybe vacuum the floor while you’re at it.
4.She has lots of new friends with names you’ve never heard before.
And when she talks to them on her phone, she goes to another room and closes the door behind her. You may think she is considerate, doesn’t want to interrupt your TV time.
But the truth is that you’ll probably never meet her new friends – because you’ve stopped showing interest in her life, friends, hobbies or dreams.
5.Dinner together has become a questionable activity
And recently, there have been more than a few nights where she has come home after having already eaten with her new friends – and without bringing you a takeaway.
6.Her workload seems to have increased and she’s been working a lot of overtime at the office.
She attends more meetings, runs errands and works on “last minute” projects with her supervisor. And lately, she doesn’t answer calls or text messages when she is working. Not that you’ve been trying to reach her to connect, let her express herself or offer support. Because those few times you text her, it’s because you’re hungry and want her to pick up a pizza on the way home.
7.You notice that none of the e-mails you receive have her name on them – not even the coupon cutter.
It is reasonable to assume that she has created a new private mailbox and has already begun to log out and disconnect herself from her future responsibilities in your life – one letter, one bill and one lawyer at a time.
8.She keeps a full tank of gas in her car and has an emergency bag of snacks and water in the back seat.
She explains that precautions are taken in case the car breaks down or goes flat and has to wait for AAA. Because she knows that you are too busy and unreliable to help her.
9.You both spend less time together
Even that time of night when you used to sit side by side in the family room checking your emails has become a memory. Instead, she tells the dog to jump on the couch to keep you company, while she spends a little more time cleaning out the wardrobe.
Is it too late to save your relationship?
The answer depends on you and how many of the above signs you recognize – and take the time to correct them.